Why You Can’t Switch Off After Work
For most of us, it feels harder to shut down at 6 p.m. than it does to hit deadlines at 10 a.m.
Last Thursday, I closed my laptop at 5:02 and immediately… opened my phone. Five minutes later I was answering a “quick” Slack message.
Then I was folding laundry while listening to a podcast, then checking my email again “just in case.” By the time my kids wandered in with paint on their hands, my body was home but my brain was still at work.
And here’s the kicker: I know better. I coach women on boundaries for a living.
But this “always on” trap is sneaky.
It’s woven into how we reward busyness and guilt-trip rest.
Why You Can’t Switch Off
It’s not because you love your job too much. It’s not even because of endless to-do lists. It’s because your brain doesn’t get a signal that work is done.
Three main culprits:
· Blurry boundaries. Working at the dining table, phone in hand. No physical line between work mode and life mode.
· Reward loops. Quick dopamine hits from checking “just one more email.” The brain treats it like a slot machine.
· Rest guilt. That quiet panic voice: “If I sit down, something will fall apart.”
Emma (our dream client) told me she often checks email at 9 p.m. just so she doesn’t “wake up behind.”
She doesn’t want to work late, but her brain hasn’t learned how to stop.
The Cost of Being Always On
You don’t pay for it today. You pay for it tomorrow, in crankiness, shallow sleep, short temper with family, foggy mornings.
Here’s the irony: the more you “stay ahead” by working after hours, the more behind you feel the next day.
Like running on a treadmill where the speed keeps inching up.
Create a Shutdown Ritual That Works
The Fix (Switching Off Made Simple)
Forget long wind-down routines. What you need is a shutdown signal — a tiny ritual that tells your brain “work is done.”
The closing act.
Physically close the laptop, put the phone in a drawer, or turn off Slack notifications. Pair it with a phrase like, “That’s enough for today.”Body reset.
Move your body in a way that feels opposite of work. Stretch arms overhead. Step outside barefoot. Wash your face. Small physical acts flip the switch faster than mental willpower.The replacement.
Have something immediately after work you actually look forward to. A walk, a snack, five minutes lying on the floor while the kids climb on you. Make it more appealing than “just one more email.”
A Story That Stuck With Me
One client set a “closing playlist.” The moment she hit play, work ended. Even if she still felt tempted, her body associated that first song with being done.
Within a week, she said her evenings felt twice as long.
Boundaries Let Life Back In
The Bigger Lesson
Boundaries aren’t only about keeping work out. They’re about letting life in. The truth is, the “always on” trap keeps you from the moments you claim to be working for:
Family connection, Rest, The Space to Breathe.
Emma doesn’t actually want to scroll Slack at 9 p.m. She wants to laugh at dinner and watch her kids spill paint water all over the floor. That’s the memory she’ll keep.
Proverb
“Rest isn’t earned. It’s required. And it starts the moment you choose to stop.”
✨ Reply and tell me your shutdown ritual — or confess if you don’t have one.
⭐ Save this as your reminder to protect evenings.
📩 Share with a friend who’s glued to Slack after dinner
Here’s to finding your flow,
Mia
